Cherry Blossom Wario
by WeabooQueen
Summary: Emiska Dee is starting her first year of high school, she is amazed when she accidentally runs in to the most popular boy in the school, wario-senpai. Things dont run so smoothly in her romantic pursuits, love triangles, tsundere girls, and talking clocks all interfere. Will Emiska find true love or will she find the true meaning of friendship, or another stupid thing like that!
1. Wow Desu hbu

My name is Emiska-chan Today is my first day of highschool, I know, I just know that something amazing will happen today. Unfortunately I am running late so I must grab my toast and run out of the door. I hope today a cute senpai will notice me!

*TRANSITION TO OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL*

"I am almost there! I wont be lat-" I run directly into someone.

"hey watch where you are going you big idi-" I look up to see the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, his mustache like a wire, his beady eyes peering from under his hat with a w on i. His beautiful round body I was lucky enough to run into it. I could feel my heart, doki doki it rang in my ears and was afraid he could hear it.

"oh I-i didn't realize.. I didn't mean to run into you" I stammer.

"WHA!" he exclaims his voice like music parading around my eardrums. Oh how he only said wha but I know what he meant, he meant so much more, probably something along the lines of, "why the fuck did you run into me you idiot" but that is just an estimate. I watch as he storms off to the school.

"… wow" I sigh, I have never felt this before. I hear the bell ring.

"OH FUCKING SHIT" I run into that building. I finally make my way to class. The only seat left is the one next to the window second from the back. The girl next to me has pink hair and pigtails.

"that was supposed to be my seat" she mutters. "I was supposed to be the main character" I stare at her for a second, what a weird thing to say. I shrug it off.

"hello" she introduces herself, "I am Kyoko Hikaru, but you can call me Hika-Chan, b-but don't think that means we're friends" I understand completely now, she is my flat chested Tsundre sidekick. Yes I always wanted one of those.

"class" the teacher says "we have a new transfer student, Tony" a clock walks in, he is blue duba de duba die, and has a charming brittish accent like Brocoli Cucumber.

"I wanna fuck the clock" I whisper.  
"what!?" exclaims Hika-chan.

"I WANNA FUCK THE CLOCK" I scream whisper.

"what no, don't do that, why would you think that is a good idea?"

"I dont know"

*FASTFORWARD TO LUNCH TIME*

"so Emiska-Chan any boys you like?" Hika asks. I wanna fuck the clock is still a very large part of my train of thought but she already knows about that.

"um well there are two guys… Tony and this upperclassman he is round and has a W on his hat"

"that is Wario-senpai he is the most popular boy is school"

"I can see why" I sigh. Then a small blue clock walks over to us.

"you're Emiska right?"

"yes"

"well, hi im Tony," I can hear him ticking, I wonder if the hands on his face move in time with his heart, I wonder if he controls time, that would be pretty bitchin.

"yes I know who you are, I overheard your conversation, and as the bad boy in this love triangle you will feel conflicted emotions towards me because you yearn for freedom but are not sure if you are willing to pay the price for it."

"um, okay" what is with everyone they are so weird. I look out of the door for a second, and I see him. Wario the school rep, the coolest senpai ever. Decide to talk to him, I run out there.

"Wario-senpai!" he turns around, the wind blows through his moustache like a shampoo commercial.

"Wha?" he asks

"oh, hi, I'm Emiska, I ran into you earlier today, I wanted to actually apologize to you"

"wha."

"yeah im glad you forgive me, I think we should hang out some time"

"wha"

"Really! That's great!, I cant wait, see you there"

"WAH" I run back to Hika and tell her the good news. She could care less on the outside but deep down I know she cares, it is programed into that character archetype.


	2. Wario senpai

The first week of school was uneventful but it didn't matter it was all leading up to that Saturday. I put on my most anime outfit but not to the point where I was full on magical girl. I walked to the café clutching my bag, I was so nervous, what if he didn't show up, or worse, what if he showed up with his childhood friend. What no that won't happen.

I enter, there he is wearing his overalls the fit his figure nicely.

"wah." He greets me.

"hey, im glad you're here."

"WAh."

"haha I know right" we order I get dome cake and a water, he gets wAh and WaH. I never knew he had such sophisticated tastes. We go and sit in a booth near the window. The light catches in his moustache and I feel my breath be taken, it was truly breathtaking. We talk about everything, he has so many hobbies, like winning and cheating and listing. I was hoping that this day would never end but it is never as we want it.

He walks me back to the train staion.

"I had a great day today senpai"

"wah!" he laughed. I was happy he had such a good time too, I didnt think it could get any better but then, he kissed me on the cheek. I could feel my cheeks flush loudly. This was everything I ever wanted and more. I didn't know what to do, I was frozen in embarrassment and joy and a little bit of arousal but that didn't matter, all that mattered was that he kissed me!

*NEXT MOTHER FUCKING DAY*

I told Hika-Chan everything that happened. And she was like, whatever I have over 1000 friends on facebook and I told her that that was cool. Unfortunately Tony overheard me.

"So what is so great about him any wat, huh? What makes him so special?"

"are you jelly?" I ask Tony

"pshaw, no, im the bad boy I cant be jealous what no."

"you seem kinda je-"

"beep beep beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP" wow rude, but as I look into his eyes while he says that I can only think about how much I want to fuck the clock. I mean that bowtie, damn.

"ow my ears." That was loud.

"but no Emiska you will be my girlfriend" I gasp, was he asking me out? No it couldn't be! But Wario senpai liked me, what are these conflicting love triangle feelings.

"b-but" I stammer. Hika-Chan looks pretty annoyed at all of this.


	3. EHHHHHH? a l-l-love tiangle!

I could not believe it! Was it that Tony-kun was also in love with me? Or did he just want to play my feelings like the bad boy I saw him as.

"emiska…" his shojo eyes sparkled as he said my name.

"will you go on a date with me?" I gasped, this was the most day I had ever had today! So much romance, so little time. But then I realized something, and that something was that as a clock I would have a very difficult time fucking him. This made me rethink wanting to go on a date with him.

"ummmm" I stammered, "yes I will, bu-but first you need to battle Wario-senpai for my affections."

"that is stupid, I wont do that" he said bluntly. He winked at me and walked away.

"wow' said Hika-chan. "that guy seems like an asshole"

"h-hika chan…?!" I am confused, I did not say that, who the fuck was that, did I forget I said that? Wait no I didn't.

A girl, the class rep to be exact, came over to us. Her boobs were like super big, I don't know how she is not in tears every day with the pain that comes from the gravitational pull on those things. She also has glasses and a quiet voice, her brown hair is pulled up into an intricate braid hairstyle on her head. I can see Hika chan is staring enviously at her breasts. I mean seriously damn what size are those things? Quadruple Ds? If bra sizes are a to z then they might actually be Ys. Where does she buy her bras? Are they custom made? Are her boobs even real? I have so many questions and I wanted to poke them so bad.

"what do you want Nayomi?" Hika growls in her nasily voice.

"I was c-coming to ask if you wo-would want to g-go to my parents beach house w-with me. And you can bring friends too…." The class rep stammered, I wondered what kind of bathing suit she wears, a one piece couldn't fit right and I doubt a bikini could be enough support. This is also a weird time to go to the beach I is the middle of winter. I look out the window, its even snowing right now!

"hmmm. I guess that would be alright." Hika chan states. Class Rep sighs in relief.

"arigauto! My parents are afraid I cant make friends"

"you cant, I just like hot tubs." Hika chan is a real bitch. Just then our teacher, mr onii san sensei comes into the classroom. It looks like our lunch time is over, and I never even got to give the bento I made to wario!

"please stand" he says. He is a very cool teacher, all of his students admire him for his big brother like personality and prince like looks. I also hear he has a dark and mysterious past. But that is just a rumor.

"DEE!" he shouts back at me. "Quit daydreaming, all though it would be fine if I were in them *sparkle*" I am surprised no one as reported him for harassing students. He hands back my test. "you could do better Dee." He shakes his head he looks so disappointed in me.

"sensei.." I whisper "im sorry" I look at my grade…! I only got a 34! This is tragic! Now I will need to get a tutor and this will take up my after school time ! and I wanted to join a club so bad, I was considering the magical girl club, or the maid café club but now it looks like that dream is shattered.

"dee chan" I hear a soft voice and something softer touch me from behind. It is Nayomi-chan and her boobs are touching me even though she is a good desk length away.

"if you need a tutor… I could help you study…" she sounds so apologetic I just want to hug her and make her feel better.

"oh its fine Nayomi-chan you don't have to if you don't want to." I say.

"But I do!" she sounds so sure as she move towards me, almost smothering me in her boobs.

"mphokay thhhen" my muffled voice comes from behind the anime titties. She jumps up and down in joy. How are they not falling off dear god.

"okay I will meet you after school today in the library." I nod and she goes on her way.


	4. Study Buddies

I was waiting for Nayomi in the library when a metric shit ton of books fell on me. I screamed while flailing about, I was under siege it was going to be the end for me wasn't it?

"Tsch" I hear a voice say. "what a pain" a tall slender guy moves from behind the book pile. He has glasses and eyes that are black soulless caverns. He has no nose and his mouth is a vertical slit between his eyes. His jet black hair makes him look very studious as do his sharp teeth.

"WhU WHU WHUT THE FUCK" is shriek as I trip over more books. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" the boy looks behind him and around him trying to figure out what I am referring to. He obviously is oblivious to the fact that he is scary af. He finaly realizes I am referring to him I guess because he approaches me.

"tsch, you are a rude girl." He growls, his lips curl in both directions, showing layers upon layers of sharp jagged teeth.

"don't you know it is rude to pick on people with glasses" he says coolly.

"g-glasses?" he thinks I was freaking out because he had glasses, what the fuck is this. Am I being punked? Probably knowing the bizarre situations I get myself into. I hear the library door open.

"Fumio-kun!" I hear a soft voice say. Nayomi runs over to him, her breast bounce cracking the foundation of the school.

"Nayomi" he says as she hugs him.

"fumio-kun this is my friend emiska-chan" nayomi says filled with glee. I need to set the record straight that I am not nayomi's friend, nor will I ever be.

"oh you made a friend? I thought I told you that I was the only one you needed."

"Fumio-kun…" I watched as they continued to flirt back and forth like this for a while. It was strange his mouth doesn't move in time with his words.

"Nayomi… we need to study" I say intirupting them. She stares at me blankly for a second.

"oH yeah! Studying! Because your dumb!"

"My dumb what?" I say sensing that she spoke the wrong your.

"what?" she is confused, I am confused, I bet Fumio is confused. What even is life. Nayomi gets out her books which are not all school books, some are just reading for fun, mangas, and… dojinshi porn?! No wait that is just a cookbook.

"okay lets start" she says. And I study so much, I mean we were at it for hours. I walked with Fumio and Nayomi to the exit of the school and left them because I just cannot deal with that weird couple. When I am about halfway home, the rain starts.

"EHHHHHHHHHH?!" I exclaim, I forgot my umbrella. Damn it.

"Wha?" I hear a beautiful voice from behind me.

"Wario!" he is standing infront of what must be his house, he is holding an umbrella. I walk over to him.

"wha"

"I was studying cause I failed a test"

"wha"

"no its okay, I have a tutor"

"wha?"

"really? Thank you!" I walk inside his house, it smells like decay and mold. There are dozens of overalls strewn across the floor. It is the most beautiful house I have ever seen.


	5. Wario's House ouo

I stared at Wario, as the lightning flashed it lit up his face, I was having an out of body experience just looking at it. Wario had invited me into his house to escape the rain.

"thanks." I said as he placed some hot tea down in front of me. I took a sip.

"ah! Its hot." I burned my tongue "but not as hot as you wario-senpai" I hope he did not hear me say that.

"wha." He responded. I was glad he didn't hear me. That would have caused so many problems jfc. We continued laughing and talking until the rain died down.

I gathered my things.

"thank you so much senpai!" I bowed deeply to him. As I was walking out the door he stopped me, and kissed me on the cheek. I was baffled, red, and a little aroused.

"s-senpai" I stammered.

"WHa" he said. Then slammed the door in my face. What just happened, my head was spinning, did he really kiss me? I placed my hand to my cheek and it was pink and slimy where his lips had been. This must be his lipgloss, he did kiss me! I proceeded to stumble home.

That night while I was bathing I made sure to avoid cleaning that cheek, I will never clean it again. I sighed as I thought of his moist eyes and garlicy breath. The way his overalls grabbed in just the right places. And that mustache with the bits of food stuck in it, wow. I knew what this feeling had to be, it had to be love.

The next morning when I got to school I told hika chan all about my previous day.

"wow" she said "I can't believe you hate people with glasses, especially Fumio he's a total babe"

"hika chan that isn't what you are supposed to be focusing on" I whined. "love is confusing"

"I hear a ladies struggle is hard, I wish to make it easier on you" I turned around and mr onii san sensei was there. His blue eyes shined with sadness and sincerity. There were physical sparkles in the air around him and flower petals. I wondered how he made that happen.

"Sensei" I said "you're a lady's man right how do you deal with people who give you mixed signals. He said something in French that sounded dumb but a few girls in my class swooned, then he continued.

"I listen to your heart Dee, it sings the most pure song of all" I didn't know what he was talking about, my heart played the song Anaconda. Does this mean I should date some dude named Michael who rides motorcycles or have a boy toy named troy?

"sensei" I heard hika chan say "that was so poetic… baka" she is just so tsundere I cant deal. Sensei gave Hika-chan a look that said 'bitch r u fukin sereious' then he turned to me.

"Dee, if you remember what I said you will be sure to win his heart." He pauses then does a very dramatic pose "but! Be expected to have to deal with crushing the hearts of others along the way." He is a weird man.

"he he sensei, arigato" I say, he then goes back up to the front of the class to take attendance.


	6. Maid Cafe

I look around the class, daydreaming about robots, and attractive robots, and animal robots. Sweet. When I notice my own mechanical friend isn't even around.

"hhhiiiikkkkkaaaaa psssssstttt" I whisper so descretly that sensei only glares instead of tells me to shut up.

"what." Hika growls.

"whar is Tonyyyy" She then explains to me that he is on an epic quest to win my love, there is something to do with ninjas and pirates, the whole thing sounds kind of confusing. But then suddenly the door slams open.

"Tony!" I gasp, but it wasn't tony it was Fumio.

"Way off miss" he hisses at me. Then he walks to the front of the room and pushes Mr. Onii San Sensei to the ground. Some pasty American screams 'I THREW IT ON THE GROouuunndDD MANNNN' from the back of the class. They then excuse themselves from pure embarrassment. I look over to Nayomi, her eyes sparkle with admiration. So much is happening.

"Tsch, So as you have probably heard the cultural fair is coming up, each class will have to choose to do a thing for it, the sign up list is in the cafeteria if you want something cool to do, like me, you should go quickly." He the winks at Nayomi and leaves. Sensei stands up. Everyone is excited.

"class" sensei booms. "we will be doing a maid café." He says his eyes look very extra sparkly. Many girls sound excited. I was with those girls, but then Hika-Chan decided to intervene.

"Sensei!" she yelled "I don't think we should do a maid café, and only a Baka or a Pervert would think it is a good idea, and yes I am implying you're baka hentai!" Hika sits down quickly and crosses her arms. Sensei looks like he just got shot, his face is pale and hollow and he is slumped back in his chair like a corpse.

"hika chan.. don't you think that was a little harsh?" I ask nervously, I see all the other girls in the class pulling out their switch blades, they are ready to cut a bitch, specifically hika. I'm not sure whether they are upset about the café or about her hurting sensei's feelings. Hika grunts at me as if to say she said what she meant and she wasn't going to change her mind, ever. The girls are slowly getting up from their chairs.

"Hika!" I plead.

"Fiiiineeee" she gets up and goes over to sensei "Baka, we can do the maid café if you really want to" he perks up immediately and hugs hika. She looks dumbfounded.

"Thank you my dear" he then kneels down in front of her and takes her hand, you can feel the jealousy seething off of the other girls in the class. "I am sure you will get many customer with how cute you are, I might have to stop by myself" he sounds so sincere.

"sensei… th-that's harassment" nayomi whispers. "you don't want the thing that happened last year to repeat itself"

"Ha, Nayomi-Chan you are always watching out for me. But you should know that onii san should be watching out for imouto not the other way around." He pats her on the back. The jiggle her boobs make creates a minor earthquake knocking some students out of their chairs.

"Dee!" he shouts at me. "Go sign us up for maid café in the cafeteria." I exit the room, Hika is still frozen where she was. The hallway is weird when there is no one in it, I take this choice opportunity to do the Naruto run down the halls. I ran for like at least a good forty seconds before running directly into Wario-Senpai.


	7. Senpai Squared

"S-S-S-Senpai!" I stammered. "I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry!" I then went on to bow like 8 times.

"wha" he said, I was relived, he was not angry at all. He then proceeded to open his mouth until it was a flat horizontal plane, he then pulled a motorcycle out of his mouth and rode away on it.

"wow" I sighed. "sugoi" I then continued on my way to the cafeteria. I found the signup sheet and wrote 1 A Maid café. I turned around but there was someone in my way.

"HEY!" I looked down, there was a boy like at least a foot shorter than me standing there. He had shiny blonde hair and huge blue eyes. He looked like he was about to cry, probably because I was wearing my metal soccer cleats and my foot was about to plant itself firmly on his head.

"oh sorry" I say "I didn't see you there. I move some of my hair away from my face, he no longer looks like he is going to cry, now he looks really happy and amazed.

"its okay" he cheers "most people don't see me! Im Nori Himura! Im in class 3A" he smiles at me. I probably look dumbfounded by the fact that this lil bitch is two year older than me.

"nice to meet you im Emiska Dee, class 1A." I say. He looks at me with a very serious look.

"Emiska-chan, I have decided that I will be your senpai" he stares me down, I feel kind of afraid.

"Himura-kun ehe, I already have a senpai" I say cautiously.

"Use my first name! and I know you have a senpai, its me" I guess he won't take no for an answer.

"Nori-Senpai …"

"Now carry me back to my class!" he then proceeds to make me carry him piggy back to his class, everyone is staring at me even the students without eyes. I plop him on the ground in front of his class.

"okay Nori-Senpai, bye" I say awkwardly and try to scurry away.

"emiska chan wait" I turn around and he is on the verge of tears. "you forgot to kiss me goodbye"

"EHHHHHHHH?!" what no I wont be kissing the shota motherfucker lil bitch. He starts sniffling and points at his cheek. How old is he even. I sigh heavily and walk over to him and kiss him on the cheek.

"chu~!" he says and kisses me full on the lips.

"EHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" I scramble backwards and fall over. I then watch as a pokemon type of evolution happens and he is now looking like a movie star.

"EHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" how am I the only one confused about this what the fuck is happening what the fuck is this school.

"Arigato Emiska Chan You have restored me to my true form!" he says with a much deeper voice. "what can I do to repay you?" he asks getting way too up in my face.

"again Himura" one of his class mates yells.

"how often do you do this, once a week?" another chimes in.

"that's not how you get a girlfriend" the teacher says.

"SHUT UP!" Nori whines. "shut up SHUT UP!, it does too WORK!" he then turns back to me. "so where was I .. oh yeah! What can I do to repay you?" his eyes are all squinty and seductive like, he winks.

"UMmmmmm… " I say. Everyone's breath has stopped they were waiting for my answer.


	8. About the characters

OKAY everyone who reads this, today it will be character descriptions and updates and stuff. Im also going to write a short background story which will be put as a different chapter. So here we go.

Girls school uniform: white blouse with short poofy sleves, a blue ribbon is tied around the neck. The skirt is pleated and black, there is also an optional grey blazer.

Boys School Uniform: White button up, optional blue tie. Black slacks, and a grey blazer.

Emiska Dee

Age: 16

Height: 5'6"

Physical description: Brown collar bone length hair, straight across bangs. She has pale skin and rosy cheeks. Her eyes are brown and angular. She has a moderate build. She wears a school uniform and a ping bow on the left side of her hair.

Favorite quote: "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying" –Oscar Wilde

Kyoko Hikaru

Age: 16

Height: 5'3"

Physical Description: Pink hair tied up on both sides into twin drills she has slightly sideswept bangs. Blue bows hold up her hair. Her body is a ruler. She has large pink anime eyes. Her voice is nasally and dismissive. She wears a school uniform.

Favorite quote: "Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop." ― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

Nayomi Kato (Class Rep)

Age:16

Height: 5'5"

Physical description: She has strawberry blonde hair which is braded on both sides. She has big boobs probably yys . she has glasses and kinda droopy green eyes, she has a quiet and awkward demeanor. She wears a school uniform.

Favorite quote: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."― Robert Frost

Fumio

Age: 17?

Height: 6'4"

Physical description: terrifying demon like boy. His eyes are swirling pits of darkness and rot. His mouth starts where a mouth usually would and goes up between his eyebrows. He has black hair which probably gets in his mouth all the time. He wears glasses and a school uniform with a tie.

Favorite quote: "If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."― Marilyn Monroe

Kou Kato (Mr. Onii San Sensei)

Age: 24

Height: 6'

Physical description: He has kind blue eyes and slightly long, about chin length. Platinum blonde prince like hair. He is the older brother of Nayomi. He usually wears a suit but occasionally forgets his jacket. He is a pretty man.

Favorite quote: "I would die for you. But I won't live for you."― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Nori Himura

Age:18

Height: 4'8"/6'1"

Physical description: honey (with blue eyes tho) from ohshc/ Tamaki from ohshc

Favorite quote: "Never laugh at live dragons."― J.R.R. Tolkien

Okay that is all the characters that need descriptions I think? When there are even more characters I will do another one of these I guess. Stay tuned for a side story in the next chapter!


	9. Sensei Sensei Sensei!

Hey everyone! Emiska here, today we have a special side story for you! Starto!

**Sensei! Sensei! Sensei! A teacher's story**

Everyone in the school knows me, the cool suave teacher Kou Kaito, but do they know my pain!? No one in this place even calls me by my name, not even my coworkers. It is always Onii-chan this and Onii-chan that, am I related to you? No I didn't think so. I didn't think I would be a teacher. But I also didn't think I would ever be cool.

In my childhood I was a real otaku, I watched sailor moon with such a burning passion that I was convinced that I was in fact a sailor scout. Everyone laughed when I dressed up like sailor Jupiter for the costume party. That still didn't perturb me from my one true love, magical girl anime. It is not a creepy obsession, I was never attracted to them they were my role models. I was them, I still am. I don't really like any of this new age stuff though madoka magica is a sad excuse for a magical girl anime. My sister even called me a freak, even though her boobs are probably tumorous.

Continuing on when I was a senior in high school I decided to start my own manga, little did I know being a mangaka is literally the worst thing ever. You get like a total of two free days a month, and oh were those months sleepless. I did manage to release one manga which I called, galactic love fighters. It did not do well. So with my dreams crushed I decided to focus in on a more popular genre of manga to try to win girls over, shoujo. I became the dream prince that every girl wanted and yet I could not be the moon princess that I so desperately wanted to be.

I decided to be a high school teacher because it seemed to me that that is where many mangas and animes take place. I would use my students as inspiration in my writing. Last year I got into trouble when one of my students got freaked out that I wanted her to join my cosplay group. I almost got fired over that but she looked exactly like sailor mercury and I could not let that opportunity pass me up. My sister is in my homeroom class this year and she is afraid I will try to recruit another person. This is unfortunate because Hikaru looks exactly like sailor chibi moon and would make an excellent addition to my group.

None of them love the real me they all love the cool prince me. Would they love me if I was a cool princess instead?


	10. Mocchi Date

How can I repay you? What is that supposed to mean? Is he trying to seduce me? If so he isn't doing a very good job.

"umm you can buy me mocha" I say. There that isn't anything he can use against me.

"Okay I will cherish my time on that date with you." He smiles.

"DATE!?" Whu WHU WHAT THE FUCK. He twirls me into a dip and kisses my cheek.

"au revoir mon cheri" he says, winks, and then shoves me out the door and then throws my phone at me. He added himself as a contact titled 'bae'. I stood there dumbfounded until the students without eyes came up to me. They just laugh, in unison. What is this school.

I walk back to class sensei tells me that I took too long and he is angry, he gets angrier when my phone beeps because Nori texted me. Well at least I know when and where our date is, ick. I sit down next to hika.

"what took you so long?" she asks.

"Boys, boys" I whisper. she looks at me confused and then nods knowingly.

It is that Saturday, I am wearing a gothic Lolita dress with a bonnet. I walk up to Nori at the trainstaition.

"sorry im late" I say

"you should be im going to have to punish you for that." He winks. "Just kidding! I wasn't waiting for that long teehee~" he sticks out his tongue. I don't understand this. I open my parasol and we board the train. I spend the train ride whacking Nori with the parasol.

"senpaiiii" I complain "how far away is this mocchi place?"

"oh we will be there in a few hours" he grins "of course we will have to stay the night somewhere, I have a few love hotels I have checked out" I uppercut him and drag him off at the next stop.

"oh" I say "there is a shop over there" I point and then drag him over. I look in the window.

"ohhhh" my eyes sparkle "kawaii"

"miss we would like two green tea mocchis" Nori says to the lady behind the counter. She gets them for us. I look around the café, it is very cute. There is pink and bows everywhere.

"okay that will be 750 yin" the lady says.

"okay!" nori looks in his wallet "oh. Emiskaaa-Chaaan! Could you pay for this"

"you forgot the money didn't you"

"teehee im sorry" he then hugs me "pleasseee please please." My eyebrow twitches. I shove him off. I pull out my purse and slap the money on the counter. The lady hands me the mocchi and I eat them both.

"this is what you get for being a lil bitch" I say while glaring at Nori. He looks defeated. I go outside and sit on a bench beside the café. I sighed a heavy sigh when Nori sat down next to me.

"emiska im sorryyyyy" he whined "ill do anything for you to forgive me" I stared at him with a blank face.

"emiskaaaaaaaaaa"

"you know WHAT if you go and find me a talking animal I will forgive you, it also must be magic." I then proceeded to whack him with my parasol. And walked to the train station. I looked at the clock on the wall- wait is that… tony?

"oh Emiska" tony walked over to me. "I went and battled a bunch of tigers to strengthen myself for you" wow im gonna faint tigers are like strong. Jut hen Nori walked up and put his arm around me.

"emisKA" he said his voice cracking. "who is this?"

"nori-senpai this is Tony now get your arm off me. Toni its so so so so so so great to see you again I missed you" I hugged him he smelled like a clock and wow hot.

"Emiska I will battle wario for you later maybe, we will see, I will if I feel like it." Tony then proceeded to fly away somewhere

"I wanna fuck the clock" Nori and I said in unison.


	11. Dat Cash Doe

I turned and looked at Nori and he looked back at me.

"that isn't your clock to fuck" I growl menacingly.

"I don't want to I was just overwhelmed in the moment." We stared at each oter awkwardly for a while longer until nori broke the silence.

"you know…" he said "this sexual tension is pretty thick maybe we should like, I dunno, make out to make it less awkward" I decide to mess with him.

"s-senpai" I blush. "But there are so many people around."

"I don't mind because the only one who matters is you."

"senpai!"

"if you are too embarrassed" he takes a step towards me. "We can always go somewhere" he whispers in my ear "private" I decide that this is enough. I knee him in the balls.

"HOW BOUT DEM PRIVATES" I yell then throw my parasol on the ground and do a touchdown dance. He is curled up in a ball crying when his wallet falls out of his pants and it opens and there is money in it. I bend down and pick it up.

"you lil bitch" I growl. "you did have the fucking money but nooooooo you decide to be a fuckboy instead and not buy me food." I grab him and pull him up by his collar. "and I will have you know I fucking love food."

He stares at me for a second and blinks.

"wow" he says " your anger is such a turn on"

"Oh MY GOD" I say as I drop him on the ground and walk on to the next train home.

When I am back at the station near my house I realize I still have his wallet. I pull out my phone and call. I hate the sound a phone makes before a person picks it up. Then I hear a moshi moshi on the other side of the line.

"Oh Hika Chan! It's Emiska" I say cheerfully

"How did you get this number?" She whispers.

"haha Hika always the joker, so listen do you want to go shopping with me I have this wallet and it is full with cash, so you won-" she hung up on me. I put my phone away and when I look up she is standing right in front of me.

I scream and fall over how did she do that is she a ghost?

"are you a ghost!?" I ask.

"No" she said with a wistful look in her eyes. I stand up and show her the money.

"Damn did you rob a bank or something?"

"Nope an idiot gave it to me"

"you should introduce me to that baka"

We decide to go to the most expensive store we can find. Angelic Pretty does have really nice clothes after all. I tried on so many dresses. I ended up buying the wrapping heart one piece dress and matching accessories. Hika says that she like things that are more punk rock and less frou frou. I don't believe her at all. Next we go to a host café. It is pretty swell. Then we go to a maid café and it is even better oh my god our waitress was so beautiful Jesus Christ. Hika and I continue to shop until the thing happens.


	12. Nori is a lil be-atch

"YO BITCHES" I hear a shrill toddler like voice behind me. I turn around as dose hika. It is Nori, who has once again become a lil shota ass bitch.

"ew what is this" Hika says poking his face. "you are squishy" she rubs his cheeks around in big circles until they are super red, he finally slaps her hands away.

"Emiska-CHaaaannnn" he whines "you stole my money"

"what money?" I say whilst handing him back an empty wallet. He looks like he is going to cry, I smile at the thought.

"okay so now we have to make a dealie-o" he squeaks "either you pay me back or you kiss me" he looks really smug. What a butt fart.

"OR I could just show you the cute things I bought and you will be like 'wow money well spent'" Hika snorts when she hears me say that, then shoves me aside.

"move I got this… but i-Im not doing it for you *blushu*" hika hen leans down and kisses him, and once again he is a prince in looks. He falls over and squirms away.

"EwwwwwWWwwwWWWwww I didn't want to be kissed by some gross tsundere loli chick, I wanted to be kissed by a babe!" he says while wiping his mouth on his arm… why is he naked?

"Well you aren't a very good kisser anyway" hika growls. I stare at Nori, where are his clothes was he wearing them when he got here? Am I crazy?! Nori returns my glance and then dose a mild thrusting motion, magic beams of light magically covering his peen.

"you like what you see?" he asks in a low tone. I hit him with my parasol.

"where the fuck are your clothes?" a voice asks from behind me. Its Fumio and he is with Nayomi.

"dear god" I mutter "we are a walking freak show"

"im not wearing clothes because they didn't fit mr studious gets them anime tiddies." Nori scowls when he says this. I think Fumio did too but I cant tell with that mouth of his.

"don't bring my baby doll into this" Fumio says winking at Nayomi and then kinda at Hika, I can see her blush.

"lets settle this man to man" fumio yells ripping off his shirt. Nayomi faints just a little. What proceeds to happen is the most intense hambowing battle I have ever seen in my life. I don't even understand what they are battling for. I try to get hika to leave with me but she is too fixated on the fight. I start walking when I realize I can't escape, because a large group has gathered to watch the fight.

Both Nori and Fumio are glinting with sweat, fumio's sweat is more like a black sludge oozing from his pores though. They are both getting into it when all of a sudden… nori slips. The victor Fumio is raised up and paraded around, he pushes his glasses up his nose and it creates the largest glare ever and then he grins at nori.

"Now I have proven better in three ways nori." He pauses "intellect, athleticism, and better in the bedroom." I watch as Nori falls to his knees obviously wounded from these sick burns. Fumio is returned to the ground.

"now" he says "I will take my prize" he says as he lifts me up.

"EHHHHHHHHHHH!?" I exclaim. "YOU BET ME YOU FUCKWADS!?"

"WElllllllll" nori squeaks "kindaaaa but it will be fine." Fumio then lifts the unconscious Nayomi up and fukin flies to his gigantic house/demon castle.

"YOU LUCKY BITCH" I hear hika scream as I head twards my inevitable doom.


	13. Bullshit

You know on my way up to wherever the hell fumio was taking me, I had a lot of time to think. And during this long and perilous flight I have discovered one word to perfectly describe my school year.

Bullshit

Ah yes such a perfect word for what is happening to me right now, bullshit. Being toted away to some unknown place in the sky, bullshit. Being semi-smothered by a monster's girlfriend's tiddies, bullshit.

"Emiska, I would advise that you stop mumbling to yourself." Fumio looked really pissed… almost like what I was doing was… bullshit.

"whoopsie" that fucker just dropped me, bullshit. You know falling is a really awful experience and I don't recommend it, especially when you are thousands of feet in the air. Sure it has some cool views, titans, witches, gundam robots, other people falling, the students without eyes, birds. Unfortunately with no parachute or apparent rescuer it fucking sucks.

"curiousier and curiousier" I can see the ground getting closer I crush my eyes shut bracing for impact, but it doesn't come.

"what in the sam hell?" I say opening my eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL" imin hell. I have to be, I must have died so quickly I didn't even realize it. Well that's what I think until Fumio lands next to me, gently placing his boobalicious girlfriend on the floor.

"welcome" Fumio Tchs "to hell"

"wait so I am actually ded, I thought hell would have a lot more scene kids in it"

"well I can make that happen.."

"please don't" as I say that I notice Naomi stirring, she sits up and yawn cute yawn, what a fuckng bitch.

"shit the sex dungeon" I hear naomi whisper

"bullshit" I whisper back

"so" fumio booms as his mouth expands to his neck "how about a tour of my humble abode?"

I gaze longingly at the ceiling of hell wondering when will my prince come save me from all this bull?


End file.
